Last updated on November 26th, 2024 at 09:08 pm
Aim to live in this world without allowing the world to live inside of you, because when a boat sits on water, it sails perfectly, but when water enters inside the boat, it sinks. ~ Imam Ali (as) ~
Balance is subjective and organic in nature.
The oldest language in linguistic records dating back to 3100 BC is the Sumerian language. It traces to ancient civilisations originating from what is now southern Iraq. Ama-gi within this language translates to freedom. The roots of the word balance interplay with the roots of the word freedom. To think of balance as a source of freedom is a release of the senses. Many schools of thought often associate boundaries and disciplines when describing balance as a concept. These notions seem to conflict with that of freedom, as freedom is seen as an absence of boundaries.
My Uncle once described freedom as the ability to say no, not yes. Once again, I was too young to resonate with the depths of this statement. I thought of freedom as the ability to say yes, to live life in a manner keeping with everything I wanted to do. In effect, saying no played into the idea of values and beliefs. For example, saying no to preserve a value is an expression of freedom, grounded in self-discipline and self-constraint. Only now do I understand how discipline is freedom – a liberation of the self to a higher cause, whatever that cause may be.
Balance is a multi-faceted construct with nuanced layers clustered together. Some layers are external whilst others internal. We balance our lives through our interaction with the outer (relationships) and the inner (body & mind). In general, life can be compartmentalised into four categories: financial, spiritual, relations, self. Firstly, as we live in a materialistic world, we invest our time pursuing financial security. Secondly, we all have relationships that must be managed. Family and friends to appease – or not to! Thirdly, we can choose to focus on our health (physical, mental, emotional), and fourthly we all like a bit of me-time 😊 These four areas largely govern where we spend our time.
Happiness through moderation is an age-old proverb. To balance a scale, equal weight must be applied to each end to moderate. Therefore, to balance one’s life, moderation in all aspects is recommended. Over-indulgence in one aspect can cause negligence in others. For example, an over geared disposition to earning wealth to achieve happiness is a common pill sold across the globe. Yet research has shown a positive corelation between wealth and depression, with one of the causes being to lose sight of what is important. Theodore Roosevelt once said that comparison is the thief of joy. A few moments of introspection will reveal abundance in our lives, though in the race of life we at times get lost in comparisons, diluting ourselves in expectations of others. A lot to unravel in a short sentence. Losing sight implies something is no longer visible. At times, we must zoom out to focus in. Seeing the bigger picture allows for a greater appreciation of the various pieces we assemble.
Within religious practice it is customary to read on what is known as a Tasbeeh. A Tasbeeh is made up of 100 beads woven together by a single thread. Each bead represents a small prayer. The words read on each bead can be different to the other beads, with focus given to affirmations such as gratitude and appreciation. It allows for the reader to remain in a state of mindfulness whilst moving beads from one to the next. Much like a boat gently swaying on waves beneath, guided to it’s shore. The thread holding all the beads together can be perceived as the scale of life, upon which we anchor to, whist absorbing ourselves into the various areas of life. Each bead represents a different part of life. As we journey through the motions; like a woven thread being sewn on to our tapestry of experiences, we ground our thoughts into a linear flow, appreciating the abundance of each experience. And upon the completion of the Tasbeeh, we’re left feeling lighter and at presence with ourselves. This daily ritual helps to create parity and poise I take forward into each day, knowing that through this centred balance I can achieve my daily goals whilst checking-in with myself, to re-energise and refocus.
This post is a fitting reminder to myself to look beyond the daily routine and expand my peripheral sight beyond work and career development. On route to work last week, out of nowhere and very out of character (admission of emotion alert) I began to tear up… (silent pause for dramatic effect). Seemingly, my drive of motivation pent-up over recent months to be the best I can be at work, found itself escaping my eyes in the form of droplets (trying hard to avoid writing that I cried). This was a life-first for me. My early 30’s has seen me advance at a faster rate than in my 20’s. Marriage and parenthood have catalysed that upwards journey, complimented by an innate fire to succeed burning as bright as ever. I was abruptly made aware of the emotional toll it was having on me as I drove through the country lanes with wet eyes. I did allow for a smile to break free amid what may be best described as an emotional relapse. I smiled because my honest tears (as all tears are) affirmed that my motivation to succeed was well and truly alive. However, this realisation also carried with it the need to reframe my energy into elements outside of work, to harmonise my energy across other parts of my life. The standards I set myself to measure up to propels me forward in the pursuit of career-oriented growth, and it was this standard that brought me to tears on this un-ordinarily enlightening day (tongue twister).
If the only measure of our existence are the memories we home, and moments spent with loved ones make up the majority of our reel, then the relations we build are the truest forms of wealth. I remind myself how fleeting this transient existence is. My Daughter is now at 3 months old. I struggle to believe how much she has grown in these past 12 weeks. Often times, as I find myself fading into her gaze, affixed in the present, I can’t quite remember a time before she was born. As if the last 3 months have replaced the previous 381, I feel in a way she has always been with me. Her large brown eyes carry a recognition within them, similar to a face in a dream one sees for the first time but still knows who they’re… somehow. And within these moments, as her eyes meet mine, like a hug from an old friend, I know to cherish this feeling as somewhere deep within my sub-conscious a new memory is born, which will live within me long after I leave this world. This deliberate effort to spend quality time with her by embracing each moment is what I hope will continue to form a beautiful bond between Father and Daughter. An appreciation of balancing time to make sure I never miss a beat when spending time with her allows for colour to context. She is the reason why I propel myself at work, to afford her a brighter future. Enriched relations are the adornment of life, like stars in the night sky.
A relationship with the self is the rhythmic heartbeat everything else dances to.
The following is an ode I wrote to and for myself 😊
Guided by lights in the night sky, I once had heard a wanderer passing by,
‘I am not lost, nor am I found, just me and my two feet on God’s given ground,
each step takes me away from my last, each breath remains a moment in my past,
why then shall I mistake this house for a home, for isn’t this world but a fleeting abode?’.
Indeed there was sense in the wise man’s self, his world naught but a riddle in his head.
Within you is enfolded the entire universe. Therefore, you have no need to look beyond yourself, for what you seek is within you, if only you reflect.
Getting to know ourselves is in many ways the most important of journeys to embark on. Scientifically we know that our minds and bodies change every 7 years. The average person can expect to go through 10 cycles of change in their lifetime. The more we become in-tune to the symphonies we omit, the better accustomed we’re to orchestrate each note. And so we create our own karma. Soon after turning 30 I remember feeling a wave of acceptance washing over me. It was as if someone had removed a veil from within. I felt more approving of myself, with weeds of self-doubt and judgement no longer sprouting out of the cracks. I gave myself the gift of acknowledgement. Acknowledging that I was happy with the person I had become. I was who I thought I was. Adolescence brings with it a self-realisation that one no longer needs to live in the shadows of themselves. I began to view my flaws simply as building blocks, shaping me into a better version.
Every day I work on the relationship I have with myself. I wake up with the same question each day, “how can I make the most of it”. This provides me with a push to make that extra 1% effort in what I’m doing. When looking at myself, the most negligent of realms that was lacking attention was me. A fair assessment would show that 70% of my time was spent in work-related tasks, with 25% to family, and then 5% spent on myself (namely blogging and films). I’m getting better at allocating more time to myself. Be it in the form of taking 30mins to read before bed, enjoying a pleasant walk in the evening, treating myself to something new, making time for friends. These recent summer days have certainly been helping! Everything just looks so prettier in the sun 😊 casting its aura of effortlessness.
By introducing balance into our lives we harness an equitable state in which stability and equal footing platforms growth in all elements.