Last updated on July 14th, 2025 at 12:32 pm
I’ll be Happy when…
Let me just come right out and say it: “I’ll be happy when” is the most conveniently inconvenient whisper I tell myself, right up there with, “I’ll just have one biscuit”.
But I’m not alone in this personal mantra, as I’m sure we smileyapes all do it to.
“I’ll be happy when I get that job”
“I’ll be happy when I buy that thing”
“I’ll be happy when I lose that weight and my soul is completed and finally makes me the person I was born to be.”
Sound familiar?
You may think this is a mere harmless behaviour, like a goal with glitter on it, but here’s the thing, that goal you’re chasing is an infinite moving target and all the while, life is passing you by.
For many years I chased happiness like it owed me money. I “I’ll be happy when’d” through most of my adult life and at first it was innocent.. I’ll be happy when I can afford that Goosebumps book, (shout out to Attack of the Jack-O’-Lanterns).
Then came University where I spent the better part of 5-years convincing myself I would be happy when I would be living out with friends, having an amazing social life, spending time in the gym, buying the latest Lacoste attire, and so on, and so on and so on.
Of course, none of that happened. Just a stark reminder in the form of a £50,000 student accrued debt post-graduation that yes – I am still paying off 13 years on, that I wasted most of that time in the pursuit of happiness. Though within the depths of this endeavour I did end up owning three houseplants which I feel counts for something.
Here’s what I learned, the illusion of happiness (now available in Hardback), is like an uninvited guest at a house party. They show up late, eat up all the spicy Cheetos and leave without a trace. Brief, brisk, bye.
This happiness never stayed. Because the next thing was always just around the corner.
And this future-happiness dream I sold myself every time became a full-time project, perpetually under construction, with no clear deadline and a suspicious amount of scaffolding.
It’s like I treated happiness as something behind a velvet veil with exclusive VIP access for which I didn’t quite have the sufficient amount of money to purchase the ticket. And everytime I got up to the entrance with my current funds the sign read, “sorry, cannot grant you access to Joy just yet. Please upgrade your circumstances and try again”.
So why did I do it.. honestly? Because it was easier. It’s like believing in something out there will fix what is inside here. It’s tidier, neater. We love a good “before and after”, it gives us hope. It gives us something to post online with an inspiring caption and a soft filter.
But deep down, I think we also secretly fear what happens when we get the thing – because then what?
What if you get the job, the body, the relationship, the six-pack of emotional well-being and you’re still not happy? Slightly terrifying thought.
If we admit it might already be available in the messy, incomplete and tangled up, in the Now.. well, that means we have to stop waiting and actually live.
Introducing – the Happy Now movement, well just me really.
At some point, probably around the 100th time I said “I’ll be happy when..”, I decided to test out a theory.
What if I didn’t wait to be happy??
It was quite, awkward and new. Though as the metaphorical bubble burst, and the fresh light of day seeped into a new reality where I was responsible and accountable for my own happiness – no longer left to the ether to provide, I felt… free.
Maybe happiness wasn’t this grand, cinematic moment of swelling music and emotional lightning.
Maybe it was here, In this ordinary, routine, just normal moment.
I thought this as I sat in my garden, on a plastic chair, in the evening, staring up at the sky. Thinking how fortunate I am to appreciate the true art of creation all around me. In the dancing sun-kissed leaves, patient clouds drifting like whispered prayers across vastness. The brisk wind like a divine breath, reminding me that beauty is always present – a symphony held in harmonious balance.
Enter into.. the Happy-Enough Life
Look, I’m not here to tell you to stop dreaming. Dreaming is great.
Ambition is spicy and growth is amazing. We are all evolving, transforming, levelling up like a confused Pokemon with anxiety. But what I am saying is.. don’t defer your Joy.
Don’t hang It on a future hook, a perfect moment, a miracle morning routine that turns you into a kale-powered superhuman.
Because when you’re waiting for your “when”, your life is happening right now in all it’s unfiltered, buscit-crumbling glory. The happiness you are waiting for might already be sitting next to you, wrapped up in a dressing gown watching vlogs. And sure, maybe it doesn’t look like a motivational poster, but it feels something. Something warm, silly and real.
I won’t pretend I’ve got it all figured out, (after all I ate cereal yesterday after work and called it dinner).
But here are a few things that helps me:
- I celebrate the small stuff
Finding time to take my Daughter to swimming. Adding oat milk into my afternoon coffee. Sticking to my fruit for lunch routine (you can grasp how disconnected each of these are 😊 ).. oh and finding matching socks.
Happiness grows in these tiny moments, the ones we usually walk right past.
- I don’t wait for the big milestones
I experience the journey on route to the destination just as much as I bask in achieving the win. If you only allow yourself to feel Joy when you hit the massive milestones, you’re going to spend a lot of time in emotional limbo.
Let yourself feel happy for no reason. Or for silly reasons. Or for the very important reason that you managed to get out of bed even though your duvet was aggressively clingy.
- I am where my feet are
I notice what is in front of me. Even if it’s the smell of toast in the air, or the birds pecking away at what is found to eat on the ground. I connect myself to my surroundings, not in a third dimensional guru jedi master way, but a subtle, conscious, and melting kind of way. I feel the moment, the energy, the vibe and allow myself to sink into it.
Final thoughts
We all have the power to change the script. We don’t have to wait to turn to a new chapter, just change the page. Give yourself permission. Happiness isn’t some prize you unlock after reaching level 47 of life.
It’s here. Now. In this chaos. In the try. So go ahead, give yourself the Joy you have been postponing.
Because you deserve happiness now, not someday.
Now